© 2016 by Charles D. Jones

More Yard Names

August 5, 2019

One of the best guys I know here, actually one of the best guys I've ever known, is my buddy Bounce. He has that Yard Name, aka Nickname, because he walks with a slight limp, a result of having cerebral palsy at birth. I still remember when we met him, and he said I could call him Bounce. Finally, after almost 4 years, it occurred to me to ask him if he liked being calling that. He replied, "Not really. I just picked it up in prison and it stuck." So now I have to try not to call him that, which is really annoying.

 

I've written about yard names before, but there are some here that are nowhere near politically correct. They just ain't right, but are readily accepted by the person. With these names it's typical to hear, "Hi, I'm _____," often to where nobody knows his real name. A few examples include the following:


  Simple Paul (Mentally challenged)
  Ghost (Albino)
  Osama Buck Laden (Muslim with big teeth)
  Tourette's (Self explanatory)
  Stutter (Ditto)
  Liberace (Ditto)
  Lying Larry, who became Crazy Larry (Ditto)
  Gordo (Spanish for fat)
  Heavy (English for fat)
  Tiny (Sarcastic for fat)
  Keebler (Short, elfish looking)
  Smurf (Ditto)
  Kilo (Like wearing a t-shirt that says "Arrest Me, I'm A Drug Dealer")
  Cadaver (former embalmer convicted of a sex crime)

If I encounter you when I'm released and you have even a slight distinguishing physical or behavioral quirk of which you are or should be highly self-conscious, here's warning: all bets are off. Consider it part of YOUR rehabilitation.

Please reload