© 2016 by Charles D. Jones

Prison Mail

March 14, 2019

I get the best letters here, as I have friends who still know how to buy stamps. They can even comply with Bastrop Federal Satellite Camp postal rules. I've written about the new rules here, as they're a little weird. The following story was sent by a friend recently:

 

An elderly Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden, but it was difficult work, since the ground was hard. His only son Vincent who had always helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

 

Dear Vincent,
I am feeling pretty sad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. I know if you were here my troubles would be over as you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days.

Love, Papa

 

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

 

Dear Papa,

Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried.

Love,
Vinnie

 

At 4:00am the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. The next day Papa received another letter from his son.

 

Dear Papa,

Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances.

Love,
Vinnie

 

...a little prison humor.

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