Core Values

The best leadership conference, in my opinion, is the Willow Creek Global Leadership Summit that is simulcasted over the world for two days every August. It's well worth two days of your life. However, if you're too busy for that much self improvement, simply read on. I can assure you that none of the gems you'll read below will ever be covered at that conference.

The Bureau of Prisons is not exactly the crown jewel of the federal bureaucracy, but after 21 months of being here at Bastrop Federal Satellite Camp, I am continually amazed at the embedded culture of institutional dysfunction, dishonesty, and waste that goes on here. While I've never seen them in writing, as none of the real rules are ever written, here are the Top Ten BoP Core Values. Perhaps some of these can work for you or your organization, or not.

1. Protect thine own tushy at all costs.

2. If asked a question, answer it with a question.

3. If a question is from an inmate and #2 is ineffective, deflect the question with feigned anger or sarcasm. If that doesn't work, merely make up an answer and walk away or appear busy.

4. Count every year, month, and day until your retirement.

5. Spend all your budget before September 30. Buy something, even if you'll never know how to use it because its workableness is irrelevant.

6. Never get in a hurry, unless your shift is ending.

7. Never admit a mistake or make eye contact during a conversation.

8. If a potential project has a .1% chance of failure, get someone else to do it.

9. Never question your supervisor until he/she has left the room, then all bets are off.

10. It's acceptable to throw a co-worker under the bus because he/she is going to do it to you.

I'm convinced that given significant organizational changes, some BoP employees could be productive, but the culture and the union will never allow that to happen.

Est id quod est. It is what it is.