Randomness Revisited

August 16, 2016

* We had a split rail fence around the visitor area here at Bastrop Federal Satellite Camp. On the fence were many "Do Not Sit On Fence" signs. Word has it that the Warden was here recently, sat on the fence which broke causing her to fall. We are now getting a new fence. If I put signs on my bunk saying "Do Not Climb Up Here And Try This Mattress, I wonder if I might get a new mattress?

 

* If I were a writer, I would want to be Terry Hayes who in 2014 wrote I Am Pilgrim. The cover says it's a thriller which is an understatement. 

 

* I led the communion service a few weeks ago and used some source material that I figured would offend most of the attendees, but didn't. I can't believe that it never occurred to me that nobody would be listening to what I said.

 

* The political conventions are over. The Republicans held "It's Mourning in America" while the Democrats held "It's Still Bush's Fault". I wanted to subtly mention to both candidates that I have a guaranteed strategy that would put either of them in the White House. It's available to either in exchange for a presidential pardon. Of course I can't reveal the specifics until I have a written agreement, for obvious reasons, but here's a summary. He/she should book a 3 month cruise--no interviews, no speeches, no press conferences, no tweets, no nothing. While people are intrigued with the idea of a Hillary or a Donald, they are generally repulsed by the actual Hillary and Donald. 

 

* A fellow inmate here was supposed to leave on July 28. However, the Bureau of Prisons reversed a 09 with a 90 in his sentencing calculation, so he gets to stay here another 81 days. That would suck. What an unfortunate time for the BoP to start correcting mistakes. 

 

* On May 20, 2010, John Maine took the mound for the New York Mets as they played the Washington Nationals. He pitched to one batter, 5 pitches, and was pulled by Mets pitching coach Don Warther. He wasn't injured. The exact same thing happened to me in little league at age 12, except Maine walked the first batter. In my case, it was still a 3-2 count as the batter had fouled off a pitch. I remember it like it was yesterday, and I'm still mad about it. No doubt, Maine could help me move on.

 

* When walking to work each day, I usually kick a rock down the road. I had created a nice pile of rocks on the curb near the camp garage until a recent rain storm washed my pile of rocks away. I was very disappointed by this random act of God. This is a convincing sign that I'm losing my mind, isn't it?

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© 2016 by Charles D. Jones